October 2013
I think I’ve turned into some kind of masochist.. and I don’t mean anything dodgy by that, I mean: “a willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.”
I can’t stop watching wedding programmes. I just cannot help it. Say Yes To The Dress, Say Yes To The Dress (Bridesmaids), Four Weddings, Don’t Tell The Bride, Found The Gown, Something Borrowed Something New, even My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.. The list is bloody endless. TLC has a lot to answer for. And I seriously need to reassess my life and/or sanity.
I’ve never been one of those girls who grew up dreaming of their wedding day.. the dress, the cake, the flowers, the prince charming.. just no. I mean, its not that I never wanted to get married, like ever, I just hadn’t really thought about it.
By this age, my mam and dad had just got married this summer gone, were living in their new little house, and would be expecting my sister next year. I, on the other hand, am a million miles away from that. I’m single. More than that, I’m the singleton of singledom. I haven’t had a boyfriend in two years. And I seem to scare off/gently push away any other poor lads who come along. The single life is comfortable, or has at least become the norm..and, like it or not, celibacy is my life. Why I regularly put myself through watching the endless happy-ever-after crap at 30minutes a pop, I really do not know. Because its not even like I’m engaged and actually have an excuse.
I’m just fascinated by it all. As if weddings are some kind of brand new revelation. I even find myself tearing up.
“Oh doesn’t Sarah, 24, from Massachusetts look absolutely stunning in that dress. She looks so happy. Its so lovelyyy. MAZEL TOV!” *sob sniffle cries self to sleep*
In other words, I’ve turned into a right softy.. and it doesn’t suit me. Add the fact I’m in my onesie with the cat next to me. I’ve become one of those people. I’ll be crying at soaps next.
Maybe its the single-ness and I’m living through other people’s happiness or something.. Woah, wait, that sounds a bit sad-acty. I am not living through other people’s happiness. Scratch that. Maybe maybe I’m just coming around to the idea a bit more.
I know I’m young, but in all honesty most people my age round here are actually settling down – in a long term relationship, engaged, moved out of home, with a car and even expecting a little bundle of joy, or two.
I’m not saying I want all that right here right now. I would like to live a bit first. But, after a few false starts, I think my priorities have changed a little. And I do not want to live at home with my mam forever.. sorry mam. Nor do I want to live in my hometown forever either. Besides, I don’t have one of those childhood sweetheart thingamajigs.
Will one of my friends hurry up and get hitched please? So I can get my wedding fix that way? I might be cured then.
Or maybe I really do just want the big fuck-off white puffy dress. Who knows..
cattface.com 